A New Year, a new romance! But how about having one with yourself?

January is all about New Year’s resolutions: less booze, less chocolate, more exercise, the list is endless! Personally, I think it’s the worst month to give up wine! January can feel incredibly lonely after all the socializing December brings. It reminds me of when I embarked on my own ‘back to dating journey’.

I joined the site on New Year's Eve, after feeling really lonely over the festive period.  Seeking out a potential partner felt like an exciting way to bring in the New Year. But, actually, I wasn’t really ready to embark on a new relationship. I had just gotten mixed up with everyone else’s normative ideas that we should all be matched up!  

If only there was a dating agency that could have helped with that… oh wait! There is! It seems logical to me, as a therapist, that dating should go hand in hand with coaching. Yet, exposing our vulnerabilities, especially when we are about to meet new suitors, feels weak. Being vulnerable and reflecting on the past experiences that have shaped us helps strengthen our future journeys into new partnerships. 

In life, we tend to keep the same patterns of communication, even if we change the person we are conversing with. Whether we recognise it or not, communication goes much deeper than mere context and conversation. Without truly looking at our own complexities we can easily fall into old habits.  

Why not give yourself the New Year’s resolution of learning what it is you love about yourself? Try to explore yourself both mentally and physically and figure out who you are and what parts of your past relationships have worked, and which parts haven’t.  Leave the experiences that left you with a bitter taste in the past, be thankful for what you learnt, and go forward into new opportunities knowing that you are your best self, and deserve someone who compliments that!