I’ve just finished watching Adolescence, the new Netflix drama that’s quickly becoming essential viewing — and I’m left with a heavy heart.
Not because the show lacked hope — there’s plenty of it woven through the smart writing and strong performances — but because it confronts us, unapologetically, with the impact of how we raise and socialise young people today. And the picture is, at times, deeply uncomfortable.
A Spotlight on Masculinity, Identity and Influence
The series pulls no punches in its exploration of teenage masculinity and the forces that shape it — family dynamics, peer pressure, outdated role models, and social media noise.
What hits hardest is how quickly boys are taught to perform a version of manhood that leaves little room for softness, vulnerability, or emotional fluency. They’re given the message — directly and indirectly — that to be a “real man” means being dominant, unaffected, and in control.
And it’s not just coming from the playground.
There is an entire online ecosystem — from podcasts to TikTok influencers to YouTube “mentors” — that actively pushes toxic masculinity content onto impressionable boys. These voices equate power with worth, dominance with status, and empathy with weakness. They offer young men a script for how to behave when they feel rejected, challenged, or mocked — and often, it’s one of retaliation, not reflection.
Adolescence captures this perfectly. You see how the pressure to be “alpha” doesn’t just affect how boys see themselves — it shapes how they view girls, relationships, and consent.
Girls Who Don’t Fit the Mold — And Why That’s a Good Thing
But Adolescence doesn’t only critique masculinity — it offers space to examine how girls are pushing back.
There’s a particularly interesting narrative around girls in sport — traditionally seen as a masculine arena. While the series highlights how gender stereotypes still linger (a girl’s “identity” being dismissed if she’s too sporty or “too much”), it also shows how modern girls are tearing up the rulebook.
In real life, we’re now seeing girls’ football clubs and sports leagues thriving in nearly every region. And yet, as the show reminds us, they’re still forced to navigate the contradictions of femininity: be confident, but not loud; strong, but not threatening; smart, but not opinionated.
These double standards persist — and Adolescence isn’t afraid to show how they’re internalised.
The Lasting Impact of Adult Expectations on Teen Identity
Perhaps what Adolescence gets so right is the way it frames all of this as a byproduct of adult influence.
Parents, teachers, coaches — well-meaning or not — all carry their own views, traumas, and beliefs. And too often, those are projected onto the young people in their care. When adults impose rigid ideas of gender, strength, or success, they don’t just shape identity — they constrict it.
And those beliefs stick. They become internalised, carried into adulthood, and passed on again.
And if we’re not careful, the online reinforcement of those ideas becomes louder than anything we offer in person.
Where We Go From Here.
What Adolescence does brilliantly is hold up a mirror — not just to young people, but to us.
It asks the question: what are we teaching our teens about self-worth, consent, power and resilience?
And just as importantly: what are we still getting wrong?
If we want the next generation to grow up emotionally literate, empathetic and safe — we need to do more than change what we say. We need to rethink what we reward, what we excuse, and what we model in front of them every day.
Because adolescence isn’t just a life stage — it’s a blueprint.
And in a world filled with TikTok alphas, YouTube provocateurs, and Instagram reels shouting “man up”— that blueprint needs protecting.