In today’s world, sex toys have become a common fixture in many people’s lives, whether for enhancing self-pleasure or enriching partnered intimacy. While owning one—or even several—sex toys has become the norm, my approach is a little different. Instead of a single toy tucked away in a drawer, I have an entire holdall organised into categories: anal, suction, external stimulation, and internal stimulation.
While this setup keeps my collection orderly, it also comes with its challenges, particularly as a parent. My toys are hidden well, but the ever-curious nature of my children, aged nine and ten, means there’s always the slim possibility they could stumble upon them. Though I haven’t gone so far as to label each section with an embosser, the thought of explaining their discovery has certainly crossed my mind.
For now, I’ve decided to keep their purpose private. However, I recognise the importance of being prepared for an unplanned discovery. If you’re in a similar situation, choosing toys that could double as everyday items is a smart strategy. For instance, if you enjoy clitoral stimulation, investing in a toy like the Doxy wand or one from the Knude Society can offer a clever disguise. These products can easily pass as massagers—and, in fact, they genuinely function as such!
This strategy has come in handy for me. My Gwen from the Knude Society currently sits in my bedside drawer, quietly charging alongside my hair-styling tools. My daughter, familiar with the drawer’s other contents, once asked me about it. I casually explained it was a massager, and that explanation satisfied her curiosity. When the time feels right and my children are more mature, I plan to be transparent about what these items are and why I use them. After all, it’s perfectly normal to incorporate toys into self-exploration and intimacy.
I believe it’s essential to normalize conversations about pleasure, consent, and sexual well-being. When my children are older, I’ll encourage them to explore their own sexual health and pleasure in safe, positive ways. This kind of openness starts with dismantling the lingering stigma around sex toys, which often persists despite how common they’ve become.
It’s striking how many people still feel embarrassed or ashamed of owning sex toys while remaining silent as their teenage sons consume pornography—often without any discussion about the misogynistic undertones that mainstream porn perpetuates. In a world where sexual education often fails to address these issues, it’s our responsibility as parents to fill the gap.
We’re not just here to guide our children’s academic growth; teaching them about consent, boundaries, and sexual positivity is equally crucial. So while discreet toys can offer peace of mind in the short term, I encourage you to reflect on how you’ll eventually approach this topic with your children. These conversations matter, and opening them with honesty and positivity can empower the next generation to embrace healthy, shame-free attitudes about their bodies and pleasure.