When I was a child, my Grandma would hide chocolate, and we would hunt for it. As we got closer to the hiding place, she would say “warmer”, “hotter”, and “ooooh scorching hot”. Then, whenever we got further away, she would say “cool”, “colder”, and “ooooh freezing”.You get the idea!
In the past, when a person has been exploring my genitals, I’ve taken this idea and replaced the words with groans. For example, if a chappie found my clit and rubbed it in exactly the right way, I’d express a deep“ooooh scorching hot” groan, accompanied by words of praise. If they seemed unable to locate my clit, and they weren’t open to gentle guidance from my hand, I would stay silent. Compared to my groans of encouragement, my silence definitely gave them the “oooh freezing” message.
What I’m saying is, I communicated it in my own special way. It might not have been conventional. I could have just said; “Hey, buddy, move left a bit”. But sometimes it feels awkward to be direct. This is because, like most women, I’ve been conditioned to not let the other person know what to do with my body. Which is ridiculous, as it belongs to me and I am the expert!
Although it would be fun to have a groan dial, these days I am more direct with my needs. This is mainly because I am totally addicted to vibrations and prefer it to the feeling of a thumb rubbing me. Bringing a toy into the situation can be tricky. But it will massively enhance your pleasure, so we should be encouraging it. Our partners should be championing our pleasure as much as their own. And they should definitely be open to you experiencing more orgasms!
So, how do we communicate that if the relationship is fairly new? We could get a t-shirt printed that offers the statistic that 96% of women need clitoral stimulation to climax. Or, we could purchase a small toy that we can keep with us. Something that we can pull out, turn on, and place on our clit. Then we can take our partner's hand, guide it down to the area we like, and simply say “like this, please”.
Of course, you’ve already guessed what little toy I’m talking about. The bullet! If there was ever a sex toy that you could describe as cute, it would be the bullet. But don’t be deceived by its size and cuteness. The bullet is a powerful and mighty device. These pocket sized vessels of pleasure are also very affordable and incredibly slim line. This makes them easy to slip into any type of partnered sex for an enhanced experience!
If you want to bring a bullet into your bedroom, we love the Dame Zee Bullet. With USB charging and 3 speeds, it is the perfect starter bullet. Another favourite of ours is The Fuck Green Bio Bullet. It is a toy with fantastic eco-credentials. Perfect for saving the planet while you orgasm!