The recent story of Bonnie Blue, a sex worker who set a controversial record by engaging with 1,057 men in 24 hours, has sparked widespread discussion. Before diving into some of her statements and actions, it’s important to emphasise that sex work, when entered freely and by choice, deserves respect as any other profession. Your body, your choice should be a principle upheld for all adults, as long as the decision comes from a place of empowerment rather than coercion. What matters is you are participating in sex work because you want to, not because you have to.
However, what complicates these conversations is the harmful language and misogynistic undertones that sometimes accompany sex work debate both in the public narrative and from some individuals within the industry. For example, headlines like barely legal are deeply problematic, blurring the lines between legality and sensationalised sexualisation of youth. People are either legal adults or they aren’t language like this not only dehumanises but perpetuates harmful stereotypes that fuel stigma.
The public’s fascination with Bonnie Blue isn’t limited to her record-breaking event; her outspoken views on women have garnered attention as well. Her repeated statements, such as “women love to hate on men”and “women are lazy,” reflect internalised misogyny and perpetuate gender stereotypes. She has claimed that women unfairly expect their partners to provide financially while also handling domestic and emotional labor. Additionally, her assertion that women don’t take criticism well, paired with her framing of sex as “service men deserve,” is concerning. Statements like these minimise the complexity of gender dynamics and reinforce outdated ideas that women’s worth lies in their ability to cater to men, both in the household and in the bedroom.
Such views not only harm women but also overlook the importance of genuine intimacy in relationships. Rather than perpetuating the idea of sex as currency, couples should seek open communication and guidance when faced with intimacy issues. Building mutual respect and addressing emotional disconnection is far healthier than framing sexual interactions as a transactional service owed to one partner.
Surely, it would be better to steer people toward resources that foster healthy relationships and mutual respect rather than toward a sex worker who openly dismisses and undermines women. Seeking guidance from professionals such as psychosexual therapists or relationship counsellors can provide tools to rebuild intimacy and connection without reinforcing harmful stereotypes or perpetuating internalised misogyny.
The concept of internalised misogyny plays a significant role here. Women who experience internalised misogyny often devalue the experiences of other women, mistrust them, or align with patriarchal views that prioritise men’s perspectives. Bonnie Blue’s comments echo these patterns, as they minimise the systemic barriers women face and shift the blame onto women themselves.
The influence of her words becomes even more troubling when considering her role as a public figure. In an age where making money online is increasingly appealing to younger generations, figures like Bonnie Blue inadvertently become role models for those aspiring to enter similar industries. While she benefits from a controlled and safe environment with assistants and protection, many people entering the adult industry do so without these safeguards, leaving them vulnerable to exploitation. It’s crucial to highlight the risks and emphasise the need for protections and support for those in the industry, especially newcomers.
At its core, this conversation isn’t about shaming sex work or the people who choose to engage in it. It’s about acknowledging the power of words, challenging misogynistic attitudes, and advocating for a healthier, more supportive environment for everyone both within and outside the industry.