Many vulva owners experience painful penetration. Pain during penetration is something you deserve a solution to. Whether you’re struggling with Genito-Pelvic pain/penetration disorder, pelvic floor dysfunction, or vaginal dryness, there are ways to make intimacy comfortable and enjoyable again.
In this blog, we’ll explore why penetration can be painful, how vaginal dilators can help, and why vulva owners pain is too often dismissed—plus the steps you can take to reclaim control of your body.
Would Penis Owners Put Up with Painful Penetration?
If penis owners experienced pain during penetration, there would be countless research studies, treatment options, and solutions readily available. But when vulva owners report pain, they’re often told to “just relax” or “have a glass of wine.” Medical research has historically prioritised penis owners health, meaning their pain is taken more seriously while vulva owners pain is frequently dismissed or ignored. This is why conditions like Genito-Pelvic pain/penetration disorder, endometriosis, and pelvic floor dysfunction remain under-diagnosed and under-treated. But painful penetration isn’t something to tolerate—it’s something to address.
Why Do Vulva Owners Accept Painful Penetration?
Many vulva owners continue attempting penetration despite discomfort because they:
• Think it’s normal (it’s not!)
• Feel pressured to please their partner
• Have been dismissed by doctors
• Aren’t aware of treatment options
Do you think a penis owner would push through? Or would there be a different response. It’s time to challenge the idea that discomfort during intimacy is something vulva owners should simply put up with.
What Causes Painful Penetration?
There are many potential causes of pain during penetration (dyspareunia), including:
1. Genito-Pelvic pain/penetration disorder (Involuntary Muscle Tightening)
Genito-Pelvic pain/penetration disorder is a condition where the vaginal muscles contract involuntarily, making penetration painful or impossible. It’s often linked to anxiety, past trauma, or muscle dysfunction.
2. Pelvic Floor Dysfunction
Tight or weak pelvic floor muscles can lead to discomfort during penetration. Pelvic floor physiotherapy can help retrain these muscles and make penetration easier over time.
3. Endometriosis & Other Medical Conditions
Conditions like endometriosis, vulvodynia, or pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) can cause deep or surface-level pain during penetration. Seeking medical advice is crucial to rule out underlying health concerns.
4. Vaginal Dryness
Many vulva owners experience vaginal dryness due to menopause, breastfeeding, birth control, or medications. This can make penetration uncomfortable or even cause small tears in vaginal tissue. Using a high-quality vaginal moisturiser or lubricant can help.
5. Psychological Factors
Pain during penetration isn’t always physical. Fear, stress, or past trauma can create a pain response, making penetration difficult. This is where psychosexual therapy can be incredibly beneficial.
Seeing a Psychosexual Therapist
If painful penetration is linked to fear, anxiety, or trauma, a psychosexual therapist can help. These specialists provide therapy designed to help vulva owners overcome negative associations with penetration, reduce anxiety, and regain confidence. If you’ve ever been told “it’s all in your head”, know this: your pain is real, but therapy can help you process and address it.
How Vaginal Dilators Can Help
One of the most effective tools for overcoming painful penetration is vaginal dilators. These are medical-grade devices designed to gradually relax and stretch vaginal muscles, making penetration easier and more comfortable over time.
Benefits of Vaginal Dilators:
✔️ Help reduce pain and fear of penetration
✔️ Retrain vaginal muscles to relax
✔️ Boost confidence and comfort during intimacy
✔️ Used by doctors and physiotherapists for Genito-Pelvic pain/penetration disorder treatment
Using dilators alongside pelvic floor therapy and lubrication can be life-changing for women experiencing vaginismus, tightness, or anxiety-related pain.
The Empowerment of Taking Control
Painful penetration isn’t something you have to endure. You deserve answers, solutions, and the ability to enjoy intimacy without pain. Seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s an act of empowerment. If you’re struggling, know this: there are solutions. From vaginal dilators to therapy, pelvic floor exercises, and medical treatments, you can take back control of your body and experience comfortable penetration.
Stop normalising pain—start normalising solutions.
FAQs
1. Can painful penetration go away on its own?
It depends on the cause. For some vulva owners, penetration might become more comfortable over time, but for others, treatment like vaginal dilators, pelvic therapy, or medical intervention is necessary.
2. How long does it take for dilators to work?
Progress varies from person to person. Some vulva owners see improvement in a few weeks, while others take several months to feel comfortable with penetration. Consistency is key!
3. What size dilator should I start with?
Most vulva owners start with the smallest size and gradually move up. If you’re unsure, a pelvic floor specialist can guide you through the process.
4. What if I feel embarrassed about using a dilator?
There’s nothing to be ashamed of! Vaginal dilators are a medical tool designed to help you feel comfortable in your body. Think of them like physical therapy for your pelvic muscles.