There are moments in every long-term relationship when closeness starts to feel far away. You love each other — but something’s changed. Maybe you feel touched out. Maybe the idea of sex feels impossible. Maybe you’re parenting, exhausted, stretched thin, or just stuck in the loop of everyday life.
You hear people talk about “rekindling the spark” or “date nights” or “therapy” and you think, We’re not even there. We’re not even at the table. And that’s okay. That’s where many couples find themselves — not broken, just burnt out.
So let’s reset what sexual wellness really means. It’s not always about having sex. It’s not even always about wanting to. Sometimes, sexual wellness is about the space you carve out to feel seen by each other. It’s not the outcome — it’s the invitation.
And no, you don’t need to schedule a candlelit dinner or write a long apology letter. You can start smaller. Try carving out just 20–30 minutes together. No phones, no agenda, no pressure. Just the two of you, in your hoodies, with a cup of coffee or tea, on the sofa, in the car, in the chaos — just showing up.
Even if sex is far off, connection doesn’t have to be.
Here are three gentle verbal games you can play to help you ease back into emotional closeness — all designed to be light, connective, and safe even when you’re feeling distant.
Would You Rather… (Relationship Edition)
This playful, low-stakes game helps you learn about each other in new ways — while keeping the mood light.
Examples:
Would you rather cuddle on the sofa for an hour or go for a walk together in silence?
Would you rather have an extra hour in bed in the morning or an uninterrupted evening together?
Would you rather go back to our first date or skip ahead to a fantasy holiday five years from now?
It’s not about getting the “right” answer — it’s about seeing how your partner thinks, feels, dreams, and prioritises. It brings in fun, curiosity, and choice — all essential ingredients for rebuilding connection.
When You… I Feel…
If you’re feeling a little braver or more emotionally available, this simple tool can gently bring insight and vulnerability to the surface — without falling into confrontation.
Take turns completing the sentence:
“When you ____, I feel ____.”
And then add:
“One thing I’d love more of is ____.”
Examples:
When you sit next to me and don’t look at your phone, I feel wanted. One thing I’d love more of is time without distractions.
When you hold my hand at bedtime, I feel safe. One thing I’d love more of is affection without pressure.
This game helps create a bridge between emotional and physical intimacy. It opens the door — but it doesn’t push you through it.
Dreamscape
This one taps into imagination and shared vision — two things that often go quiet in long-term relationships.
Prompts:
If we could wake up anywhere tomorrow, where would it be and what would we do?
What does our dream weekend look like — no budget, no childcare, just us?
If we could press pause on life, what would we do just for fun?
There’s no wrong answer. The point is to co-create a little world together, even just for five minutes. These small acts of imagination help reawaken the emotional glue that brought you together in the first place.
Sexual Wellness = Emotional Space
The truth is, intimacy doesn’t always begin in the bedroom. Sometimes it begins with a cup of tea and a question. Sometimes it begins by saying, “I miss feeling close to you, but I don’t know how to get back there yet.”
If you’re a couple in a tired season of life — or a recovering one — this is your permission to start small. Sexual wellness isn’t always sexual. Sometimes it’s emotional. Sometimes it’s a conversation on the stairs, or laughing over a silly question, or remembering something tender from five years ago.
There’s no perfect way to reconnect. But there is always a place to begin again.