Sex is supposed to feel good — not confusing, frustrating, or painful. But for many women, pain during or after sex is far more common than we talk about. And when it happens, it’s easy to feel like something’s wrong with you.
This guide is here to say: you’re not alone, and it’s not just in your head.
Whether you’re experiencing a dull ache, burning at the entrance, sharp pain deep inside, or soreness hours later — there’s always a reason. Pain is information. And learning to decode it can be the first step toward getting help and feeling good in your body again.
First: What Kind of Pain Are You Feeling?
Sexual pain is often dismissed or normalised, especially if it’s been happening for a long time. But not all pain is the same — and where and how you feel it can point toward different underlying causes.
Below, we break it down by type of pain and offer possible explanations.
Burning, Stinging, or Sharp Pain at the Opening (Entry Pain)
Pain right at the vaginal entrance — especially with initial penetration — is one of the most common experiences. You might feel:
A burning or tearing sensation
A stinging stretch
Sharp, localised pain
Possible causes include:
Not enough arousal or lubrication
Vaginal dryness (due to breastfeeding, menopause, stress, medications)
Vulvodynia (nerve-related pain around the vulva)
Vaginismus (involuntary muscle tightening at the vaginal opening)
Skin conditions like lichen sclerosus
Thrush or infections
Tip: Try a body-safe lubricant and go slow — if it still burns, it’s time to get things checked.
Deep Pain — Like They’re “Hitting Something”
If sex feels uncomfortable only when things go deeper, or if you feel like someone’s “hitting a wall,” you’re not imagining it.
Possible causes include:
Contact with the cervix
Tilted uterus (retroverted uterus)
Endometriosis (especially if it feels like sharp pain deep inside)
Fibroids
Ovarian cysts
Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)
Clue: This pain often shows up in specific positions (like doggy style or deep missionary) and might be paired with cramping or aching afterwards.
Cramping or Aching Pain After Sex
A dull, dragging ache in your pelvis or lower abdomen after sex might feel a bit like period cramps — or sometimes sharper and more intense.
Possible causes include:
Uterine contractions during orgasm
Endometriosis or adenomyosis
Pelvic congestion
Deeper penetration hitting reproductive organs
Prolonged or rough sex without enough arousal
Self-check: If the pain consistently appears after sex and lingers, a pelvic scan or further investigation might be helpful.
Soreness, Bruising, or Tenderness Hours Later
Sometimes the pain doesn’t hit immediately — it creeps in hours later when you sit, walk, or go to the loo.
Possible causes include:
Lack of lubrication = friction = micro-tears
Pelvic floor tension or spasms
Prolonged thrusting or harder sex
New sexual positions
Insufficient recovery time between sex sessions
Tip: Peeing after sex and using a warm compress can help. If soreness persists, pelvic physio may be a great option.
Pain Near or Inside Your Anus After Sex (Even if it Was Vaginal)
Pain near your bum after sex can feel like pressure, spasms, or dull aching.
Possible causes include:
Pelvic floor dysfunction
Referred pain from vaginal penetration
Anal tension even if not directly stimulated
Rectovaginal endometriosis
Note: Some people feel the need to immediately poo after sex — this is more common than you’d think and usually related to pressure in the rectal area.
Bleeding After Sex
Seeing blood on the sheets or toilet paper after sex can be scary — but it’s not always a cause for alarm.
Possible causes include:
Cervical contact (especially if you’re near ovulation)
Cervical ectropion (common and usually harmless)
Hormonal shifts
Vaginal dryness or micro-tears
STIs or infections
In rare cases: polyps or cervical changes that need checking
When to get checked: If bleeding happens regularly, or if it’s heavy or painful, speak to your GP or sexual health clinic.
Pain with Other Symptoms (Like UTIs or Thrush)
If your pain comes alongside itching, unusual discharge, or needing to pee all the time, you might be dealing with an infection.
Things to rule out:
Thrush
Urinary tract infection (UTI)
Bacterial vaginosis
STI-related inflammation
Even if your symptoms come and go, recurring infections can lead to irritation and pain during sex.
So… Is It Ever “Normal” for Sex to Hurt?
Sex should never be painful in a way that feels distressing or ongoing.
Some discomfort might happen:
If you’re not fully aroused
If you’ve had a long gap between sex
During postpartum healing
If you’re trying something new
But repeated pain is never “just part of being a woman.” If it hurts, it’s worth listening to.
What Can You Do?
Here’s where to start:
Track your symptoms: note when and where the pain happens
Use lube — always
Try different positions and pacing
Don’t push through pain — ever
Get support — from a pelvic health physio, GP, or qualified psychosexual therapist.
You Deserve to Feel Good
Pain during sex can make you feel broken, ashamed, or even avoidant of intimacy altogether. But your body is not the problem. Pain is a signal, and tuning into it is an act of self-care — not weakness.
Your pleasure, your comfort, and your voice matter.
You’re not alone in this — and you absolutely don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.