Why Does Sex Hurt? A Symptom-by-Symptom Guide for Women

Why Does Sex Hurt? A Symptom-by-Symptom Guide for Women

Sex is supposed to feel good — not confusing, frustrating, or painful. But for many women, pain during or after sex is far more common than we talk about. And when it happens, it’s easy to feel like something’s wrong with you.

 

This guide is here to say: you’re not alone, and it’s not just in your head.

 

Whether you’re experiencing a dull ache, burning at the entrance, sharp pain deep inside, or soreness hours later — there’s always a reason. Pain is information. And learning to decode it can be the first step toward getting help and feeling good in your body again.

 

First: What Kind of Pain Are You Feeling?

 

Sexual pain is often dismissed or normalised, especially if it’s been happening for a long time. But not all pain is the same — and where and how you feel it can point toward different underlying causes.

 

Below, we break it down by type of pain and offer possible explanations.

 

Burning, Stinging, or Sharp Pain at the Opening (Entry Pain)

 

Pain right at the vaginal entrance — especially with initial penetration — is one of the most common experiences. You might feel:

A burning or tearing sensation

A stinging stretch

Sharp, localised pain

 

Possible causes include:

Not enough arousal or lubrication

Vaginal dryness (due to breastfeeding, menopause, stress, medications)

Vulvodynia (nerve-related pain around the vulva)

Vaginismus (involuntary muscle tightening at the vaginal opening)

Skin conditions like lichen sclerosus

Thrush or infections

 Tip: Try a body-safe lubricant and go slow — if it still burns, it’s time to get things checked.

 

Deep Pain — Like They’re “Hitting Something”

 

If sex feels uncomfortable only when things go deeper, or if you feel like someone’s “hitting a wall,” you’re not imagining it.

 

Possible causes include:

Contact with the cervix

Tilted uterus (retroverted uterus)

Endometriosis (especially if it feels like sharp pain deep inside)

Fibroids

Ovarian cysts

Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)

 

Clue: This pain often shows up in specific positions (like doggy style or deep missionary) and might be paired with cramping or aching afterwards.

 

Cramping or Aching Pain After Sex

 

A dull, dragging ache in your pelvis or lower abdomen after sex might feel a bit like period cramps — or sometimes sharper and more intense.

 

Possible causes include:

Uterine contractions during orgasm

Endometriosis or adenomyosis

Pelvic congestion

Deeper penetration hitting reproductive organs

Prolonged or rough sex without enough arousal

 

Self-check: If the pain consistently appears after sex and lingers, a pelvic scan or further investigation might be helpful.

 

Soreness, Bruising, or Tenderness Hours Later

 

Sometimes the pain doesn’t hit immediately — it creeps in hours later when you sit, walk, or go to the loo.

 

Possible causes include:

Lack of lubrication = friction = micro-tears

Pelvic floor tension or spasms

Prolonged thrusting or harder sex

New sexual positions

Insufficient recovery time between sex sessions

Tip: Peeing after sex and using a warm compress can help. If soreness persists, pelvic physio may be a great option.

 

Pain Near or Inside Your Anus After Sex (Even if it Was Vaginal)

 

Pain near your bum after sex can feel like pressure, spasms, or dull aching.

 

Possible causes include:

Pelvic floor dysfunction

Referred pain from vaginal penetration

Anal tension even if not directly stimulated

Rectovaginal endometriosis

Note: Some people feel the need to immediately poo after sex — this is more common than you’d think and usually related to pressure in the rectal area.

 

Bleeding After Sex

 

Seeing blood on the sheets or toilet paper after sex can be scary — but it’s not always a cause for alarm.

 

Possible causes include:

Cervical contact (especially if you’re near ovulation)

Cervical ectropion (common and usually harmless)

Hormonal shifts

Vaginal dryness or micro-tears

STIs or infections

In rare cases: polyps or cervical changes that need checking

When to get checked: If bleeding happens regularly, or if it’s heavy or painful, speak to your GP or sexual health clinic.

 

Pain with Other Symptoms (Like UTIs or Thrush)

 

If your pain comes alongside itching, unusual discharge, or needing to pee all the time, you might be dealing with an infection.

 

Things to rule out:

Thrush

Urinary tract infection (UTI)

Bacterial vaginosis

STI-related inflammation

 

Even if your symptoms come and go, recurring infections can lead to irritation and pain during sex.

 

So… Is It Ever “Normal” for Sex to Hurt?

 

Sex should never be painful in a way that feels distressing or ongoing.

 

Some discomfort might happen:

If you’re not fully aroused

If you’ve had a long gap between sex

During postpartum healing

If you’re trying something new

 

But repeated pain is never “just part of being a woman.” If it hurts, it’s worth listening to.

 

What Can You Do?

 

Here’s where to start:

Track your symptoms: note when and where the pain happens

Use lube — always

Try different positions and pacing

Don’t push through pain — ever

Get support — from a pelvic health physio, GP, or qualified psychosexual therapist.

 

You Deserve to Feel Good

 

Pain during sex can make you feel broken, ashamed, or even avoidant of intimacy altogether. But your body is not the problem. Pain is a signal, and tuning into it is an act of self-care — not weakness.

 

Your pleasure, your comfort, and your voice matter.

 

You’re not alone in this — and you absolutely don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.

 

 

 

 

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